Happy Birthday Momma!

Dear Momma,

Today is your 51st Birthday! Happy Birthday (: just to catch you up on what you've been missing with all of us: 

Caleb is in Arkansas working for the summer. He works so hard to provide for his family, he is so brave and heroic. Mandy has been so strong and brave, being home alone with her babies. She is the best mother for Sawyer and Jack. You would be so proud. Sawyer Grace has a smile that lights up the room, she says and does the cutest and sweetest things. It is impossible to not love her. Jack is growing up so fast! He looks a lot like Caleb, and therefore, like you. He is so smart just like his daddy; it astounds me of how much he can do and at such a young age! Send Caleb protection while he is so far from home, and send Mandy comfort.

Andrew needs your help and guidance, now, more than ever. I wish that there was more that I could do for him. Perhaps only a guardian angel like you could help. Send him wisdom, guidance, courage, and strength so that he may be able to do what is required of him. His daughter’s Cali and Jersey don’t know you, but they need you too. Send them love and peace, like you always do.

Ivy has been in Wyoming with Tanner. He is working as an apprentice lineman. Tanner works so hard for her. Protect him, while he is working so far off the ground! Ivy has been really lonely out there—being so far from family and friends, but she is strong and grateful to be with her husband. Send her comfort and peace; not only for her loneliness but for the struggles she is having with the thought of having babies without your physical presence here, and without your advice. I feel her pain, as this is constantly in my thoughts as well. We both have so many questions about what is best for our babies. Send us wisdom and courage to do this without you.

Ben is growing up to be such a handsome young man! He will be a senior this year. He hasn’t changed much in the fact that he loves to show off his little body every chance he gets. Makes me laugh (: I worry about him and Georgie the most, because they had you far less than the rest of us… he needs your wisdom and advice to make it through the daily struggles of High School and girls. Give him an eternal perspective and wisdom, so that he can make good decisions. As always, send him your love.

Georgie makes me laugh. She is quite the fireball—full of attitude and energy! She is so beautiful and looks so much like you. My heart breaks for her. She had you for barely 12 years. I know we aren’t supposed to question God’s plan, but I cannot help but feel the injustice… Georgie has good friends and lots of people to keep an eye on her. I am so grateful for that. But Momma, can you please continue to shape her into the woman that she’s supposed to become? She is so sweet and innocent—she needs your help to stay that way.

As for me, I am doing just fine—most days. Aaron is what makes my world go ‘round, now that you aren’t here. He is amazing and makes me so happy! I have a hunch that you’d like him, do you like him? I do (: The future scares and excites me at the same time… it is hard to believe that I have survived 2 years without talking to you. I told you everything. The good and the bad in my life… you would always say the perfect things—never casting judgment. How did you do that? One of the things I miss most is just talking to you and hearing what you had to say. I remember that every day after school I would come home and you would usually be on your bed reading. I would go in and do a face plant next to you on your bed. You would put your book down and play with my hair or stroke my cheek and ask me about my day. I told you of my proud moments, and my humiliating experiences. You always knew what to say or do to make me feel better. You could always make me laugh, and oh how we laughed! I miss your voice more than anything; your sweet laugh, your stories, your wisdom… I don’t think you realize just how much you influenced and shaped me.

Thank you for being the best momma in the world! I wouldn’t be half the person I am today, if not for your influence. You radiated love and goodness your whole life. Thank you for all those times that you’ve talked me out of doing stupid things. Thank you for encouraging me to be the best that I could be—academically, spiritually, and physically. Thank you for comforting me over everything from scraped up knees, to mean girls, to the occasional broken heart. The thing I can’t understand is how can something ache and throb so badly for so long? Will I ever stop missing you? It has been two years and I still hurt like I did that day you slipped though my fingers. Sometimes I think that I can feel you… are you really there? Watching over all of us? I like to think so. I am getting by on a prayer, and the thought of seeing you again someday. Thanks for being my angel.

Love forever and always,

Your devoted daughter.